Happy (Belated) Autism Awareness Month 2013!

I know, I know…

I stink at blogging. I’ve already learned that lesson. I really wanted to get this up a month and a half ago, but various projects (and school) came up, and well, I don’t have much else for an excuse. I figured I’d make it up to you with this post then go from there.

Late as this post is, I wanted to share with you all how I spent my Autism Awareness Month (April). Last year, I introduced the Puzzle Pride Campaign and the Puzzle Man. How could I possibly have followed up such an amazing show for this year (even if I wanted to do it a month and a half ago)?

I convinced my parents to light up the house blue this April (last month… oopsy-daisy :P )! Take a look for yourselves:

Awesome! I know, right?

Awesome! I know, right?

But that’s not all I did:

Just in case my neighbors were curious.

Just in case my neighbors were curious.

It’s always great to see Puzzle Man in action. Look at him! He’s so happy to be so loved!

Here’s where I digress for a bit:

My sister has Sjögren’s Syndrome. You can read all about it at her page on the blogroll. You may remember her as the Puzzle Pride Award recipient from last year (2012).  As it turns out, Sjögren’s Awareness Month is also celebrated in April. So that she didn’t feel left out…

Leave it to Jenny to steal the thunder from my blogpost...

Leave it to Jenny to steal the thunder from my blogpost…

Hmm… I appeared to be at home when this was taken… *Digression!* Ahem, so yes… It was also Sjögren’s Awareness Month in April, as well.

So, who got the much coveted Puzzle Pride Award *Angelic Chorus Singing*?

Dr. Michelle Rowe of the Kinney Center for Autism Education and Support at St. Joseph’s University. You can read more about the decision on the Puzzle Pride Campaign page located on this very blog.

So, there you have it! Up to date (or last month to be nitpicky) on the Aspie Epilogue. I have shown my true colors at last (well, at least one shade of them, anyway)! Huzzah!

I’m going to make an effort to be more active from this point. NO PROMISES! I do have a tendency to forget to post, you know. Anyway, I have class in about an hour, so I will see you next time… Whenever that is.

Eh… What’s Up, Doc?

My goodness, it’s been a long while since I last updated the blog with any substantial… well, updates (redundancy be damned).

The biggest update would have to be that I am a fully accepted graduate student now. No more of that silly provisional status.

I didn’t say I’D stop being silly…

My current GPA is a whopping 3.56 in grad school. I haven’t seen a cumulative number that high since high school!

I am now in the third week of my second semester out of five at SJU, and I could never be happier. Well, actually, that’s a bit of a stretch; I could have a job and my own apartment. Never let it be said that I look gift horses in the mouth.

…Most of the time, anyway.

Now that I know I’ve survived a round of graduate study, I’ve begun to think of what I might concentrate on in practical terms. I’ve always tried my hardest to help others. I am a creative writer. That creativity is my greatest asset, so why not combine my writing with my desire to help others (beside this blog)? What could I possibly have in mind for that?

It’s simple, really. I plan on finding out from my advisor how I would go about getting my Level I teaching certification for English at the Secondary Education level (that would be grades 7-12 for those of you playing the home game). I know I’ve said that many times in the past and haven’t followed through on that plan yet, but I’m gaining focus in my life beyond schooling. For the first time since high school, I have a solid plan for the longer term. My life will not lose its purpose after getting my master’s degree. That MA is merely a stepping stone for me. I’ve done some preliminary research on the Praxis requirements, and I’m fairly certain I can pass the Praxis II for 7th-12th grade English. Apparently, I don’t need to take the Praxis I — or rather its replacement test — because I already have my bachelor’s degree. Here’s hoping the best for 2013!

In other news, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Historically, I’d be depressed by now, but for some odd reason, I’m at peace with myself. I don’t know why, but I have more confidence about this year than in years past. I can’t explain the feeling nor can I explain what I’m thinking, but I’m more optimistic that I will be okay, even if I don’t have anything to do on February 14. I’ve been trying in vain to find a relationship for about eight years. Somehow, that doesn’t matter at the present moment. I just know that it will eventually happen. I have more important worries to focus on right now, worries like graduate school and making my goals a reality.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am embodying my catchphrase, “Find peace with yourself, within yourself.” That is the power of a stress-free moment of clarity. In case I don’t see you for another while, have a safe, happy Valentine’s Day!

 

P.S. – I realize I’d be committing a crime by not referencing Bugs Bunny in a post that derives its title from his catchphrase.

Happy New Year!!

This is for the ones who fight the good fight every day so that others won’t have to in the future.

This is for the ones who stop and help,

The ones who stand up for those who don’t have the ability to do so for themselves,

The ones who make the impossible not only possible, but certain.

This is for the ones who do all the hard work with little recognition from peers,

This is for the ones who must live through all the heartaches and joys thrown at them.

For all the people in the world who embody what it means to have Puzzle Pride…

This one’s for you.

 

Please remember someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder this year.  It’s not easy for us, either.

May you find peace with yourself, within yourself.

And have a happy and safe New Year!

 

HAPPY 2013, EVERYBODY!!!

An Appeal to Human Intelligence and Respect

I thought in light of recent news coverage reports, I should jump in and offer my deepest condolences to those affected by the shooting that occurred on Friday, December 14, 2012.  For far too long, incidents like this have been occurring across America.  It seems that the only detail the mass media can agree upon is that the shooter may have had a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome.  This is in spite of numerous contradictory reports on everything from the shooter’s identity to the location of some of his victims.  But let me assure you all of one thing.  This is NOT the norm for puzzle pieces.

The media wants there to be someone or something tangible to blame for incidents like Newtown, Aurora, Columbine, Virginia Tech, etc.  If it’s not inadequate gun control, it becomes Autism.  Can it really boil down to a single, one-size-fits-all, lowest-common-denominator?  Most certainly not.  This is a complex moral issue with many complex moral factors.  To my understanding, there are multiple factors that have contributed to this particular incident:

1. Let me start with the most obvious.  Guns.  How did he get his mother’s guns?  Why were these guns accessible to him?  What do we do now to prevent tragedies like this from occurring again?  This last question will be much harder to answer than the first two.  Do we ban all guns?  No.  There are certain uses for guns such as Police Officers’ and Federal Agents’ protection when a perp pulls a gun on them.  Population control is but another common use for guns.  Do we make them much harder to get for the average civilian?  Most certainly.  The second amendment was written at a time when the British forces kept invading the newly formed United States of America.  Since then, we have seen absolutely no foreign forces invading American soil in a very long time.  Almost 200 years, if I’m not mistaken.  Also since then, gun-related crime statistics have increased substantially.  This can be attributed to the general public remembering we have a second amendment, but forgetting the whole reason why.  Some choose to miss the point, entirely.  There are others out there who feel that we need more guns for protection.  I want to set the record straight, I am not simply “blaming guns” or advocating for “gun control.”  Rather, I feel there has to be a better balance between the second amendment and sensible gun control and responsibility.  Notice that the UK and Australia both have sensible gun control without outright banning them, and yet, their crime statistics have decreased substantially since those regulations were passed.  So keywords here: sensibility and responsibility.  That goes for any privilege.  Yes I consider it a privilege, not a right, to own an object capable of blowing one’s own head off if one misuses it.  The same goes for cars and anything else which requires immense responsibility.

2. Moving on to the next factor, the issue of whether or not Autism Spectrum Disorder had anything at all to do with this needs to be addressed.  The argument for this one is that mental health treatment is very scarce in this country, and that it was his “lack of empathy” that is “characteristic of people with ASD” that enabled him to feel no remorse.  I feel the need to address this before it spreads too far.  Speaking as a puzzle piece, I know I’m not a shining example for emotional regulation.  I will admit that I’ve destroyed enough inanimate objects around the house in an irrational fit of rage (those tend to be irrational, after all) over the years to fill a cemetery.  This is normal to puzzle pieces.  But here’s the important piece the general public needs to recognize.  We typically do NOT premeditate a mass murder.  Most of us… the VAST majority of us… shut down and withhold our emotions until they either A) explode, or B) fizzle out and we move on with our lives.  Most of us explode at ourselves due to the fact that we do not have the communicational skills to tell others how we are feeling that day.  In the event that we explode at others, it is a knee-jerk reaction to either A) our frustrations with our inability to communicate with others, or B) our over-stimulation to our very sensitive sensory perceptions and the frustrations that go along with that.  I can tell you with 100% certainty that when I explode externally and tantrum (I still occasionally do, but it’s nothing like it used to be), it is because I am beyond my ability to adequately tell somebody, “Hey!  What you’re doing or saying is upsetting me!”  It usually tends to direct itself at my father, but that’s for a different post.  And once these emotions do fizzle out (normally, I’ll just become terribly exhausted from my tantrum and force myself to calm down), I feel great remorse for my actions and take responsibility for them.  I may sound violent when I am upset.  I may say things like, “I’m going to beat you with a toaster.”  But when that moment comes, I will typically just say something sarcastic and move on without the violence.  And that is how I imagine the majority of puzzle pieces out there.

3. That all being said, I can now address the issues of whether or not mental health resources are adequate in this country.  But before I do, I just want to say that Autism is a very social disorder; it likes to bring all of its friends when it crashes the party.  Even if the shooter had a diagnosis of ASD, it was most likely simply the primary diagnosis, not the only diagnosis.  There is a very high likelihood that there were other issues that went unchecked for quite some time.  Now, then…  I will go on the public record as saying that adults on the spectrum receive almost nothing in terms of treatment or resources unless it is a very symptomatic case.  Just a few years back, I was told that my therapist and psychiatrist would no longer see me because of my age.  I had just turned 21 at the time.  Now imagine that, but you have no resources to begin with.  That is the case with many, if not most, of adults with a psychiatric diagnosis (ASD is actually defined as a neuro-developmental disorder).  Any of the resources that are available are only available to children under the age of 18.  The system typically cuts them off at that point.  The system knows how to diagnose an adult, but will usually not offer much outpatient help for it.  This is a terribly underfunded aspect of the economy.  The money is there, but it is entirely out of the patients’ pockets.

4. So let’s assume that A) guns were too accessible, B) he was Autistic (among other diagnoses), and C) could not obtain any treatment for his diagnoses.  Most adults in this situation don’t typically do what he did.  There had to have been signs that he was upset about something…  signs that point to a very blatant stimulus.  We all but know he was Autistic.  Perhaps he was bullied in school and didn’t know how to express his emotions until they exploded into a flurry of premeditated bullets.  His classmates are now starting to come out to say that he was very anti-social throughout this time.  I would be, too, if I was bullied to a certain extent.  All it takes is some unheard emotions and some reminder to make a person under duress snap like that.  This wasn’t a typical, spur-of-the-moment “Ima punch you until you apologize” snap.  This was a rare, premeditated “I will make you sorry and I know how I’m gonna do it” snap.  The latter snap tends to come from years of psychological torment.  If his teachers and parents were aware of these signs, they could have worked with him better to work through them.  Together.

So what is my point with all this rambling?  We can now paint a picture of what happened inside his head and how it was allowed to happen outside of his head.  It is a picture that is all too common.  So, how do we prevent tragedies like this from happening again?  Simple.  The key lies in understanding others’ and their human intelligence and respecting each other.  If you suspect that your child may present a danger to himself or herself or others, you need to talk to that child NOW.  You simply cannot wait and hope this doesn’t happen to you.  There is nothing that you cannot solve together with determination and respect.  If you feel that your child is beyond your help, seek professional help.  If that fails, there is always the option to institutionalize him or her.  More often than not, the personnel will be able to point you in the right direction, even if it’s only a temporary solution.  If it is temporary, then it just may be long enough to help prevent tragedies like Sandy Hook Elementary School.

To say that because this one particular shooter was Autistic, that must mean all puzzle pieces are capable of this is an enormous fallacy to the greatest extent imaginable.  We need to take each individual case as they come.  But first, we must take ourselves to be a factor.

Please, I implore you tonight, hug your children.  Let them know as much as you feel they can handle.  Let them know they will always be loved, no matter what.  If they ask, let them know that this is still a wonderful world full of hope and potential.  Bad things do happen to good people.  It’s up to each and every one of us to do what it takes to prevent this from happening as much as possible.  Sometimes, when bad things happen to good people, we all play a role in it somehow.  And above all else, TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE THEM TO TREAT YOU.  This is the most basic principle we all learn from childhood.  Let’s keep this principle alive.

I hope that we may all find peace with ourselves, within ourselves and hope that we may start healing as a nation sooner rather than later.

Thank you for reading all this.  Good night.

What Puzzle Pride Means

It has been over two months since I’ve last posted on this blog.  I swear I have a good reason this time!  Remember how I said I had some projects brewing in the distance?  Well, one of them was applying to SJU’s MA in Writing Studies program for Fall 2012.

HEY!  GUESS WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT?

I’m only accepted provisionally — that means they will review my progress at the end of the semester and decide whether or not I will be fully accepted and continue on in the program — but I think I’m doing well, so far.  Sadly, though, this means that I can devote much less time to the Aspie Epilogue than I used/want to.  Rest assured, I am still alive and as opinionated as ever.

SPEAKING OF ME BEING AS OPINIONATED AS EVER…

I have a bone to pick with the word “cure” as it relates to ASD.

I have no problem with researching new treatments and methods of bringing everybody affected to the same social page as our NT peers.  Don’t get me wrong; I would LOVE to see a world, in which, the puzzle is completed.  I’d love to see the day ASD isn’t as scary sounding as it once was (and maybe still is, as things stand).

Then there are the people who talk about “curing” Autism.  Stop!  Just, please.  Stop right there!

No, thanks. I think I’m happier without a cure…

To “cure” somebody implies that there is a disease within the subject’s body that should not be there.  It implies there is something WRONG with us.  That we are not “normal.”  That we are unable to function as human beings.

Let me bust that myth right here and now:

1. ASD IS NOT A DISEASE.  IT MEANS SEEING THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY THAN MOST PEOPLE.  A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE IS NOT A DISEASE.

2. THE ONLY THING WRONG HERE IS THE ATTITUDE THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH US.

3. NORMAL IS A SUBJECTIVE WORD.  WHAT IS NORMAL TO SOME MAY NOT BE NORMAL TO OTHERS.  ERGO, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMALCY.

4. WE ARE ABLE TO FUNCTION.  JUST BECAUSE WE DON’T FUNCTION LIKE YOU OR AS EFFICIENTLY AS YOU DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE CANNOT FUNCTION.  SOME OF US FUNCTION BETTER THAN SOME NT’S OUT THERE.

5. SURE, THERE ARE SYMPTOMS.  IF YOU CATCH THEM SOON ENOUGH, THEY ARE COMPLETELY TREATABLE.  FOR SOME PEOPLE, THAT MAY TAKE LONGER THAN FOR OTHERS.  LIKE WITH ANY SYMPTOM, THERE CAN AND WILL BE SOME RELAPSES IN PROGRESS.

6. WE HAVE THE FULL POTENTIAL TO BE HUMAN BEINGS, AND WE TRY OUR HARDEST TO BE SO.  WE HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH SOCIAL SITUATIONS.  THEREFORE, WE HAVE TROUBLE READING EMOTIONS AND WILL TEND TO MISS SOCIAL CUES FROM TIME TO TIME.

7. WE ENDURE SO MUCH MORE TORMENT FROM YOU GUYS THAN YOU ARE EVEN AWARE YOU ARE SUBJECTING US TO.  YES, WE DO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.  AND YES, IT HURTS US VERY MUCH, EMOTIONALLY.  THINK ABOUT HOW IT’S GOING TO SOUND TO ME VERSUS HOW IT SOUNDS TO YOU BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH.

THIS IS WHO WE ARE.  THIS IS PUZZLE PRIDE.  WE MAY NOT HAVE ACCOMPLISHED THE SAME TYPE OF THINGS AS YOU, BUT WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED FAR MORE IN QUANTITY AND IN QUALITY.

I’M WEIRD!  I’M LOUD!  IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, THEN WALK AWAY!  BECAUSE WE ARE THE 1-IN-88, AND WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON!

Ask an Aspie

Okay, so I promised you all last week that I would discuss a very particular question that I’m sure many of you have had at some point or another.  This post just so happens to introduce a new recurring segment on the blog that I like to call:

Ask an Aspie

This is a segment where I take questions I frequently hear about and answer them in my own inimitable fashion.

Daffy Duck just wishes he had my swagger.

So, you just found out that your child has an Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  Let’s just bypass the confusion and fuss behind getting that diagnosis in the first place.  We can talk about Diagnosis Puzzle later.

If your child’s psychiatrist happens to be played by Dick Van Dyke, just do yourself a favor and get a second opinion. Sooner rather than later…

But let’s say you actually went through all that and already have the diagnosis.  Now what?  When do you tell your child?  Should you even tell your child?  Will he understand what it means?  Who ate the last piece of that cake I was saving in the fridge since yesterday?

Well…  First off, I’m sorry about the cake.  I was really hungry and too lazy to make something more nutritious last night.

It was actually 2:30 AM. I just couldn’t figure out how to set the VCR clock.

But more seriously, the best time to tell your child is NOW.  You cannot hide this from your child forever.  He or she will inevitably find out one way or another.  Even if you feel your child is not mature enough or mentally ready to handle it, the truth is your child will at least know what he or she is dealing with and will grow to accept it over time.  It is always better to have everybody on the same page.  That way, you can work on what the next steps are together.  Your child will know he or she is not alone, and likewise, you will not be alone.  I can’t begin to remember how long it was before I was present at my own IEP meetings in school.  I actually wish I was there from the start.  (Then again, I was 3 or 4 when I got my first diagnosis.  So maybe I would have been a little young to understand what was going on.)

The sooner your child knows, the sooner your child understands.  The sooner your child understands, the sooner everybody gets on the same page.  The sooner everybody gets on the same page, the sooner progress can be made.  Because when it comes to ASD, you want to start as early as possible.  I was lucky enough that my mother noticed my abnormal behaviors when I was 2.  Since then, I’ve made considerable progress on my social skills.

Now, you may want to know the best way to do this.  That’s the easy part of this whole situation (perhaps the only easy part).  Just hold a family meeting and discuss it.  Answer any questions your child(ren) may have to the best of your honest knowledge.  But what if you have more than one child, but only one is diagnosed?  Just as simple.  I would recommend talking to everyone in the household all at once.  The sibling(s) will no doubt have questions, too.  After all, this affects the entire family.  Honesty is always the best policy.  Especially when it comes to ASD.  You want to be CLEAR, STRAIGHTFORWARD, and OPEN-MINDED about this.  I was very depressed when I first learned what Asperger’s was.  Over time, I grew to accept that this would always be a driving force in my life, so I decided to put it to work for me.  I decided to USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE.

But I never would have gotten this far if nobody had ever told me what it was I was dealing with.

If anybody else has a question they would like answered in Ask an Aspie, please email me at aspieepilogue(at)me(dot)com or tweet me at @aspieepilogue.  I’m also always on the hunt for your Puzzle Pride Awards.  You can email me or tweet me those as well!  Don’t forget about the Facebook page, either!  I am always interested in what my readers have to say.  Until next week, Puzzle Pieces…

 

 

The Future is Limitless!

Since I last posted on the Aspie Epilogue, I’ve been busy trying to plot out my next move(s).  Drexel didn’t pan out, getting my old job back didn’t pan out.  Nothing seemed to pan out in the past month.  But that was in the past.

The future is what I have left to preoccupy myself with.  So, just what am I doing in the future, anyway?

There are some more updates I plan to elaborate on in future posts.  The following are some updates I hope to be able to post about later:

1) I’m applying for SJU’s M.A. in Writing Studies program for the Fall 2012 semester.  I’m still working on the application, but I will most definitely let you all know how that turns out in the end.

2) I’m working toward a very special personal project related directly to the Aspie Epilogue.  I hope to have the completed version ready by November 23, 2015.  I’m still working on specifics, but I promise you all will LOVE it when you see it.

3) Still trying to find a job.  You’ll be among the first to know when that happens.  I certainly hope that part comes soon.  Believe me, I really want that to happen.

And there you have it.  The past may be gone, but the future is still out there somewhere, waiting to come to light.

Again, I’m always open to hearing about other people’s Puzzle Pride Awards if anybody has some they would like to share.  You can learn more about that on the Puzzle Pride Campaign page on the Aspie Epilogue.

I’ll see you next time, when I cover some important questions many of you may have had at some point or another concerning diagnoses.

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